Complications
by xlittleminxx
Summary: It takes one pregnant Blair to completely turn the world as they know it upside down. Chap 2 up!BC, BN, C/OC.
1. Prologue

**Title: Complications**

**Rating: R**

**Chapters: Prologue**

**Pairing: Chuck/Blair, Blair/Nate, Chuck/OC**

**Spoilers: Season 1**

**Warnings: Swearing, sexual situations, mentions of abortion, bulimia and suicide. This warning counts for all chapters.**

**Short Summary: Three months after the dethroning of Queen Blair Cornelia Waldorf – the Upper East Side hadn't changed a bit. But it was the elite four – the richest and most influential four that had changed the most. It would take one pregnant Blair to throw everything on it's head.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything…except maybe this computer I'm writing on…**

**Beta: None**

**Authors note: This is merely the prologue – the rest is better! Also, this is based on an RPG I'm playing – so some conversations are from there. I take no credit.**

**Previous chapters: **

**Prologue of Complications**

Three months after the dethroning of Queen Blair Cornelia Waldorf – the Upper East Side hadn't changed a bit. The princesses were still there, and so too the jocks and nerds with money. But it was the elite four – the richest and most influential four that had changed the most.

Serena van der Woodsen, the bad girl turned good, had found love in the arms of Brooklyn Not-so-lonely-boy Dan Humphrey. It had only took three months for it all to come crashing down as her boyfriend spent more and more time with his best friend. With her mother marrying Bart Bass, Serena felt like her world was ending.

Nathaniel Archibald had spent three months sailing around the world like he had always planned too. His heart had been broken by Blair's indiscretions and Chuck's confessions. And yet, Nate was still in love with Blair – his girlfriend of almost 13 years if it was possible. Most of all, he missed his best friend.

Charles Bass remained the same to any outsider's view. He still did everything the wrong way, refused to be good and was out to spend his father's money. But in the solitude of his own hotel room he'd show the Chuck that no-one got to see. The Chuck that missed Blair like crazy. Though he had never told her how much he loved her- because frankly, who'd see him settling down – he knew he did. He was the one that had pushed her away…not the other way around.

But in all truth it was Blair Waldorf who had changed the most. She'd realized she loved both boys with all her heart, had lost both boys and her status. But it was two days before classes started again that Blair changed the most.

She'd been on the phone with one of her friends – Claire – when she'd mentioned the fact that she was feeling bloated and had skipped her period. Three pregnancy tests later and it had confirmed Blair's worst nightmare. She was pregnant – three months pregnant – and by the looks of it (because Nate at least had been careful) with Chuck Bass's child. The decision seemed easy at the time – abortion was her only option.

Unfortunately for Blair, everything was going to get a lot more complicated.

**A/N: This is only an introduction - more to come soon! But let me know what you think for it's my first GG fic ever!**


	2. Future Love Sex God

**Title: Complications**

**Rating: M**

**Chapters: 1/?**

**Pairings: Chuck/Blair, Blair/Nate, Chuck/OC**

**Spoilers: Up to 1.13 but then all bets are off.**

**Warnings: Swearing, sexual situations, mentions of abortion, bulimia and suicide. This warning counts for all chapters.**

**Short Summary: Three months after the dethroning of Queen Blair Cornelia Waldorf – the Upper East Side hadn't changed a bit. But it was the elite four – the richest and most influential four that had changed the most. It would take one pregnant Blair to throw everything on its head.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything…except maybe this computer I'm writing on…**

**Beta: None – position open if it wants to be filled.**

**Authors note: This is based on an RPG I'm playing – so some conversations are from there... in this chapter a lot because I liked the situation. I take no credit. Credit to Laura for writing Chuck and me for being Blair. If you want to beta – let me know!**

oOoOoOoOo

Chapter 1

Chuck Bass stared hard at his scotch filled drink as the butler silently pressed the rag against his wounds. Chuck made no sound to show he was in pain but kept his gaze on the drink. His father hadn't been too happy with Chuck once again. Something about the Archibald's refusing to have brunch with them. Nate's handiwork – not that Chuck could blame him. Since the whole Blair issue, Nate had gone totally AWOL and their friendship had been successfully destroyed.

He motioned to the butler to leave just as his laptop gave a soft beep – showing that there was an IM waiting for him. When he saw the name he rolled his eyes, of course, one of Gossip Girl's most avid followers and a wannabe Blair was IMing him. It was absolutely ridiculous for him to assume it would be Blair after what he had said to her.

**fashionista!folife:** Hey, Bass. I've got news.

**Future Love Sex God**-You intrigue me Claire, now give it to me

**fashionista!folife**-Well, you dazzle me, Charles. I'll be honest and blunt. Blair is pregnant.

**Future Love Sex God**-I'm sorry you are so behind on the news ClaireBear but Blair is not pregnant

**fashionista!folife **- As always Chuck, you seem to be oblivious when it comes to your precious Blair. Besides, I'm always ahead of the trend and I know for a fact, Blair is pregnant for real this time

**Future Love Sex God-** Ok Miss knows it all what makes you think its mine?

**fashionista!folife** - What makes you think it isn't?

**Future Love Sex God-**-Oh come on Claire don't treat me like an idiot, its not like I'm the only one she's been with.

**fashionista!folife** - So? There's a possibility that she's carrying the next Bass heir. And that doesn't bother you?

**Future Love Sex God—**No, because it's not my kid

**fashionista!folife** - Whatever. Either way, if it's yours or not, she's having an abortion. And if you truly care about her, you'll be there for her.

**Future Love Sex God -** Now your just lying, Blair would never do that.

**fashionista!folife** - She is, Chuck. But why do you care if the kid isn't yours?

**Future Love Sex God -** Oh stop playing the bad cop, Blair is so much better than that.

**fashionista!folife** -- She doesn't want the kid, so she's gonna get an abortion. And you can't stop her

**Future Love Sex God--** Quit lying Claire

**fashionista!folife** -- What reason would I have to lie? Blair told me herself.

**Future Love Sex God-- **and i'm sure she'd be thrilled to know your telling me, or am i wrong?

**fashionista!folife** - Of course she's not gonna be happy. But you deserve to know.

_**Future Love Sex God--**__ has signed off_

Chuck slammed the laptop shut as that whore Claire's words spun over and over in his thoughts. It was impossible – Blair wasn't pregnant and she wouldn't get an abortion. Not without consulting Serena. And if Blair really was pregnant, Serena would have come and told him just like she had the first scare. So it was all that that made Chuck decide not to believe the attention seeking whore and rather his own gut feeling.

If only it was that simple. Because just one little conversation had brought up all his feelings for Blair and more than anything he knew he had to make up with her.

OoOoOoOoOo

On the other side of town, Blair sat with her head in her hands as she let her tears fall onto the card in front of her. The abortion appointment was set and clear, which made it all so real. She knew it would have been only right to tell Chuck, but after the bar episode where he'd pushed her away like a used whore, Blair was anything but sympathetic towards what was right for him.

She let herself think about Nate – about how he would have noticed immediately that something was wrong. Then she remembered how much he must hate her for sleeping with his best friend and that train of thought stopped there.

With a shaky breath Blair jumped from her place on the lush bed and ran to the bathroom, her stomach's contents leaving her body within seconds. The rapid pain returned – the pain that seemed to pull her body to shreds every time it came back – and Blair leaned against the bath for extra support. She knew, deep down she knew that the pain wasn't normal. That something was terribly wrong with either her or the baby. But Blair chose to ignore it, chose to resist the urge to go to the doctor.

Because in a week the baby would be history, no matter how much she wanted to keep it, and the pains would return to the hells of the world.

OoOoOoOoOo

At the start of the new school day Chuck waited outside of the court yard connecting the two private schools together. He had been trying to contact Blair, but as it was expected, she wouldn't respond. He knew he was a jerk to her and he wanted nothing more than to take back what he had said. Chuck Bass wanted Blair Waldorf more than anything in the world. So he found himself sitting on one of the tables, pretending to be texting some random girl, but in reality his eyes were scanning the court yard for her chocolate brown locks so he could talk to her. Chuck Bass didn't grovel, but Chuck would do anything in his power to make her listen.

Blair frowned as she watched the lower class people have their lower class break. It was ridiculous, having to be in the same place as them. But Blair knew it wasn't that what was bothering her so much. It wasn't even over Nate - it was all to do with that horrid jerk Chuck. He had told her off, not the other way around, and yet she felt like the one having to apologize.

Not that there was any way she would be the one apologizing.

Blair had standards and morals and a reputation to uphold. There would be no groveling for Chuck's - Chuck Bass of all people - attention. She was to good for that.

And even as that thought immediately made her sad, she spotted the devil's scarf.

Chuck looked up from his phone just in time to see Blair for the first time in months. Immediately he jumped up and walked over, ignoring all formalities he grabbed her arm and spun her around to him. "Blair," he started, hoping she wouldn't slap him.

Blair stiffened as his hand connected on her arm - not because of the sudden contact but the fact that her skin was pulsing from touching him again.

This wasn't good - Blair couldn't go through this, not again.

She wrenched her arm away, pulling it away as if he had burned her with his touch. In actual reality he had.

"Chuck." she warned.

Chuck almost pulled away feeling the same spark, the electricity; even though he had admitted to himself that he was in love with Blair that touch made it so much more real. Chuck didn't pull away though, at one point he had something to say, really he had it planned in his head but as soon as he saw her, touched her he was speechless.

What was happening? One thing that Chuck really hated was not being in control and at that moment there was nothing but disaster. The words of '_I'm sorry'_ were at the tip of his tongue but he stayed silent, probably looking a fool just staring, not bothering to hide it.

Blair idly wondered why he wasn't saying anything. Now was a perfect opportunity for him to say something, to try to say something. And yet, he kept quiet and stared at her like she was some type of doll.

Oh hell, she hated that. Nate had always done that.

Still, Blair made no attempt to move away from him. There was something that pulled them together - something that forced her to stay where she was.

Maybe it was the hope that he would say things that would change everything.

Chuck finally made himself pull away and look down, he had to get his thoughts together before it was too late, before Blaire took off again.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly, funny how easy the words could actually roll off his tongue once he had actually said them. Two words which were so simple to say but bared so much meaning.

"I'm sorry." he says a little louder; waiting for the world to end or at least have something happen, Chuck Bass never apologized to anyone because – well he was Chuck Bass. But this was Blair Waldorf and for her he'd walk across the moon without any money.

What the hell had just happened, Blair's thoughts screamed out, had Chuck Bass just...apologized?

"Excuse me?" she startled, stepping away from him as he said it louder. They were starting to attract a crowd now which was the last thing she wanted.

What was more, she didn't need another Nate and Chuck killing each other situation.

Her face contorted into a frown. "You tell me I'm a slut that you want nothing to do with and now you're apologizing?" her voice was so soft she didn't even know if he could hear her. She looked away, anywhere but at him, as she felt the tears start to slip out.

Shaking her head she furiously shut her eyelids.

_I will not cry in front of him.  
I will not cry in front of him.  
I will not cry in front of him._

The mantra repeated in her mind until one sentence was the only thing she could think -

_I love him.  
I love him.  
I love him._

And before she knew it - tears were streaming down her face as she opened her eyes and stared at the only boy that ever stole her heart and broke it in the same instance.

Chuck was caught off guard. He had expected a slap, fiery words and maybe even an angry face. What he got was crying - he was never good dealing with that and he knew the tears were because of him.

"I really am sorry." he said, tempted to wipe her tears away but stopped with his hand in mid air because of the fact that Chuck didn't do such sympathetic things. Without realizing it he had walked closer to her, he seemed to be on auto-pilot as he leaned in and suddenly a 'click' sounded. Chuck turned to find someone had their camera out and was taking a picture – probably for Gossip Girl. Whoever this jerk was was going to get a beating.

The sound of the camera shutter going off sent Blair into automatic as she let her body fall into his, pushing her face into his shoulder. This wasn't what she wanted - she didn't want to hurt him, she didn't want to hurt herself.

She just needed to be whole again.

And now somebody was taking a photo of them together and pretty soon it would be all over the school.

She froze in his arms, turning herself into a statue as she made no movement or made no attempt to breathe. Chuck didn't move for what seemed like forever; he knew people were staring but he really could care less and felt like yelling _Fck off_, but he managed to control his temper for the first time in his life.

Chuck finally pulled away from Blair, slowly as not to scare her off, and turned to the punk freshman with the phone. With one movement the phone lay on the floor, broken beyond repair, as the scared freshman ran for his life. Not that the gossip could be stopped, people already had seen it.

He watched the kid scurry off and turned to Blair, "Forget them." he whispered, too quietly for anyone to hear but Blair, he knew the student body would be interpreting what he said a million times over but let them, he really didn't care anymore. A calm washed over her at his words. Though she knew pretty soon Chuck would return to his badboy ways, for this moment she needed him to be just like he was - sweet.

Of course, later she would want him to be arrogant again. It was just how they were - him a jerk and her a bitch.

Quietly she shook her head and felt the tears slowly become less. "You shouldn't be the one..." she paused, looking away from him again.

She couldn't say it, couldn't force herself to tell him she loved him and that she should have apologized.

For the birthday bash, the pregnancy scare and most of all for choosing Nate over him.

All those things and more Blair couldn't say.

Instead she stared at Chuck as if he was the only person in the world - trying so hard to memorize every detail of him. His face, his scarf, that silly thing he does with his mouth when he tries to be serious.

He grabbed her hand just knowing everyone will start gossiping, "Come on, what do you say we get out of here?" he asked quietly. She stared at their hands with a mixture of feelings but Blair didn't move until she felt Chuck tugging at her hand. She looked up quickly and noticed his face and everybody around them, watching to see what would happen.

Truth be told, she wanted to see what would happen as well.

Blair nodded slowly and let herself be pulled away by Chuck.

All the spectators were speechless, they tried to figure Chuck's next move but it was fruitless, he'd become unpredictable.

Chuck took Blair's hand and already had one hand on his phone to call his driver Franco; he really didn't want to talk at school, there was more of an audience and it's not like he was in the mood for listening to the teacher anyway. No, his mind would be on Blair the whole time.

Just as expected Franco pulled up in his limo causing even more spectators and Chuck led the way to the car hoping Blair would follow. Blair's in the limo before she can even register that she's moved in and as Franco closes the door she laid her head against the cold window - away from Chuck.

Just because they were not in the crowds view anymore, didn't mean she had to jump into his arms.

Sighing loudly she felt her breathing return to normal and the tears dry on her cheeks. Blair wondered how she let anybody see her like that - it was a major reputation killer. Franco took off and Chuck slowly moved closer to Blair but he had no idea what to say. _Good Going Bass,_ Chuck thought to himself as he tried to find the words. _Bring Blair to the limo but then sit in awkward silence; that was real great_. He was inwardly cursing himself for his inability to talk. Chuck didn't say anything but took Blair's hand again in the limo hoping that since they were out of the public eye she wouldn't slap him or give him the cold shoulder.

Blair was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't even feel Chuck take her hand until he rubbed his thumb soothingly over hers. Shocked out of her rampant thoughts, she turned to him with large eyes full of fear.

Fear of the unknown?

Or maybe it was fear of the known - fear of knowing exactly what type of people they could be, how, if they did try anything, it could all end in disaster with one misspoken word.

Blair didn't know which one to fear most.

Chuck looks over at Blair, as usual she looked radiant but he would never actually used those words; he has to keep some kind of hold on who he was, or who he thought he was. Of course with Blair he wasn't the same person, most of the time; except for the bar which was one evening Chuck really wished he could take back. He was hurt, drunk out of his mind and she'd been the closest thing to criticize and hurt.

"Sir we are here." Chuck snapped out of his daze and saw they were outside of the Bass Hotel; he didn't even remember telling Franco to go to the hotel. Finally Chuck broke from his thoughts and gave a quick smirk. "Thank you." He wondered if Blair would go in; who knew what would happen.

She stared out of the tinted glass at everything Chuck's father had built. Everything that could be torn apart so easily by either one of their moods.

Blair wasn't in the mood to fight - wasn't in the mood to do anything - but she humoured Chuck. Pulling herself together as best as she could, she stepped out of the limo and into the sun, wearing a fake Blair Waldorf smile on her face as if nothing had happened.

Nothing to see here.

Chuck found his voice, "So want to head up?" he asked, hoping she didn't take it the wrong way because he didn't mean anything Chuck-like by it; meaning going up to his room for more than talking. She doesn't even answer him - walks in front because they're in public and anyone can notice them now. Blair doesn't want publicity, not in the current situation, not after having the whole school see what happened.

She led the way all the way to his suite, watched as he opened the door and finally they found themselves standing before each other in the closed off room.

Now there was no more beating around the bush - they were out of public, anything that happened here would stay here.

So it was time for Blair and Chuck to start at it.


	3. Throw You Out

Pairing: Chuck/Blair, Blair/Nate, Chuck/OC

**Pairing: Chuck/Blair, Blair/Nate, Chuck/OC**

**Spoilers: Up to 1.13 but then all bets are off.**

**Warnings: Swearing, sexual situations, mentions of abortion, bulimia and suicide. This warning counts for all chapters.**

**Word Count: 4086 words**

**Short Summary: Three months after the dethroning of Queen Blair Waldorf, ex-Queen B realizes that past indiscretions can never remain in the past. A Bass baby is on the way. The sudden realization leads to tragic confessions, abrupt breaks and heart aching hookups. But when her body starts breaking down…what will B do with the life she's been given? Will she return to the one she loves – the baby's father who isn't there. Or the one that's always there – the baby's godfather? It's the age old question: Chuck or Nate? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Really, I don't.**

**Beta: ****Artemis The Goddess**

**Authors note: This is from a RPG I'm playing –so mostly every post (with exception some changes I make) come from that site. I take no credit. Credit to Laura for writing Chuck and me for being Blair. Also, the summary has changed. Mostly to fit with the story.**

Chapter 2 – Throw You Out

Chuck closed the door behind Blair and made his way to the bed where he sat down. He knew they needed to talk, but of course all coherent thoughts and sentences had left him once again. He didn't know what the hell was happening to him.

He indicated for Blair to sit down, hoping she would and maybe she could find something to say before this was declared very awkward, leaving her to walk out, out of his life again. Suddenly, a sweeping emotion swept over Blair causing the silence to become the most terrible thing ever. She sat on his bed slowly, springing up once again as she realized that this bed was part of the problem.

And it wasn't going to be part of the solution.

Blair stared at Chuck. "I can't just sit here all day, Charles." _Yes_, she mentally applauded herself, _I need to take control of the situation - need to show him that I'm still Blair Waldorf no matter what happens,_ she thought. Yet sending him a look did nothing as she fell into silence once again. If he wasn't going to start talking she would leave - leave the suite, leave him, leave everything they had been and could ever be. Heck, for all she knew she would return to Nate. They could be happy if she really tried - if she pretended hard enough that Nate was somebody else - some boy wearing a scarf. The boy who stole her heart.

Chuck had this feeling that Blair was going to walk out again, and he couldn't help but think that he should be the one walking; he didn't like this feeling. This feeling of dread that filled him, he had to do something to convince her to stay.

He just had to open his mouth, and without realizing what he was about to say, he said, "I get it; you're going to go grovel to Nate."

After the words escaped, he wished he could take them back. Why did he have to act like that?

Blair's face was unreadable and he knew it had been a mistake.

She's sure Chuck didn't feel the slap until her hand left its mark on his cheek. Immediately, Blair pulled her hand back, shocked at exactly how far she had taken it. She just wanted him to take it back. She didn't want to hurt him.

"Take that back Chuck - you take that back!" she ordered in her usual Blair tone of voice. Blair Waldorf never groveled. Not to anyone.

Chuck jumped in surprise; he hadn't exactly expected her to slap him. Even if he did, he didn't expect it to be so hard. He knew he shouldn't have said it, he knew he should apologize, but once again his jerk side came out. It was like a defense; it was his way of dealing with Blair's future rejections, he couldn't handle them anymore.

Chuck smirked after recovering from the initial shock of being slapped, "Did I hit a nerve, B?"

The second he smirked at her, Blair felt the whole world stop. Of course, what had happened in the courtyard - how he had been so caring - it was all just some big scam of his.

This was the real Chuck Bass; he didn't care about anyone but himself. Yet, this was the Chuck that she had fallen in love with – the cocky, arrogant and party Chuck. Still, his reappearance was a shock to her.

But Blair wasn't easily beaten. "You tell me _Chuck_," she spoke his name with disgust, letting all of her feelings come out now. "How did it feel groveling for Nate's friendship after you fucked me?"

Chuck opened his mouth and closed it. Okay, somewhere down the road, they both had crossed the line, but it was so blurry that it was hard to tell where it was anymore. He didn't want to admit it, but Blair's comment stung. She very well knew that Nate wasn't talking to him no matter how much he hated saying the word _groveled_.

"He had it coming. What goes around comes around, remember?" he stated, talking about how Nate had slept with Serena and now his girl was sleeping with Chuck. He knew it was a lame come back, but at a short notice he had nothing better.

Of course, only Chuck would refer to Serena at this point. Serena - who Nate loved more than he did Blair. Right, they were way over any lines they had ever drawn before. For years they had always slammed each other with insults, and yet at that moment it felt like it was the first time hearing it come out of his mouth.

They were out to purposefully sting each other now - out to make it hurt like hell, to make the one feel what the other one was feeling. One way or another, it would have to end.

"At least Nate has people that care about him. What do you have Chuck? A few thousand local whores to bend over for you?" And, even as she said it, Blair felt guilty.

Chuck had enough; he had nothing left to say and was not about to let what Blair said effect him. Or so he was telling himself. He grabbed her arm, not thinking; he wasn't thinking by this time.

"You know what? Get the hell out and go back to your fucking prince," he said with detest and shoved her to the door.

Was he truly shoving her out? Chuck Bass was shoving Blair Waldorf out, she thought incredulously.

That was impossible.

Blair turned, throwing all her anger and fury at him. "You know what - maybe I will, Chuck! Maybe I'll go back to Nate and be happy and get married and have everything. But what will you have Chuck? A hotel? Your father's money? What the fuck will you have?"

Some part of Blair hoped he wouldn't close the door on her; fighting was better than nothing at all, wasn't it?

Chuck stopped the door before it slammed. Now she had done it; he wished there was a way to stop what was happening, stop and rewind it but this was no TV show, this was life and it was happening right now.

"Go ahead and enjoy your fucking fairytale, but don't be surprised if you find Nate fucking your supposed best friend," he snapped back.

Chuck knew this was going too far but he really didn't want to slam the door, then he'd know they were over and he was still holding onto something; something that was unexplainable, some kind of small piece of what they once had.

"Fuck you, Bass. Fuck you for ever making it feel like you were anything other than a pathetic bastard. You're too easy to criticize me for wanting to be loved, but at least I stand up for what I want. You don't do a fucking thing about it. You just let everything pass you - hoping to God that something will come your way." She took a deep breath, ready to continue what she said but she found only one more thing she wanted to add: "And who the hell are you to tell me what my fucking fairytale is?"

By this time Chuck had blocked out the harsh words. Words couldn't hurt you; that's what he kept telling himself anyway. Chuck had closed his door and walked closer to Blair, blocking her from leaving one way or another. He knew the effect he had on her and was using that knowledge to his advantage.

"You can't, won't, stay with him," he whispered dangerously close to her, but being this close was intoxicating and he couldn't pull away even if he wanted.

Blair didn't know how to react. Suddenly, they were past screaming at each other and now he blocked her way, whispering into her ear and yet not touching her. Blair could feel her whole body react to it - but strained herself not to.

She wasn't going to show any sign of weakness.

"And what," she stumbled over her words trying not to look him in the eye or react to his body, "what makes you believe that?"

Chuck could hear her heartbeat and he knew she was like putty in his hands. He touched her arm barely, a mere light graze, a tease that sent a curse of electricity through his body and he forced himself not to react to it. He had to keep himself under control. "Because you want me, you always do," he whispered, a touch of arrogance in his voice. He knew he was right; he knew she wanted this as much as he wanted her.

Blair felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. Just that one simple touch - so light it had barely grazed her - was sending every single nerve in her body into overdrive.

Hope was starting to fade, but Blair clung to the last strength she had.

"You-You're wrong," she said softly, shaking her head to show him that she was trying to mean it.

Chuck smirked; he knew she was lying, that she was trying to convince herself of that fact. He fell silent and the only sound was of both their hearts and their shaky breaths as they attempted to breathe normally.

"That is a lie and you know it," he stated, not moving from his spot. He wanted to touch her, but he waited, enjoying driving her wild.

"No."

She wasn't even sure she heard her own voice when she tried to deny him the fact that he was the only one that had that effect on her. Once upon a time, Blair would have fought back - fought harder against him. But truth be told, she was tired - tired of everything, and tired for other, more complicated, reasons.

Still, she didn't let her eyes move to his, choosing instead to stare at the floor and repeat her soft no again and again.

Chuck was getting frustrated. How much longer was she going to deny this? Deny them? He wanted her and what Chuck wanted, he got. Except for this, except for the one thing he really wanted - her. Yes, they had exchanged some heated words, but right now, none of that mattered.

"Are you sure about that?" he leaned closer. He could feel her breath, as he grazed his lips against her cheek, but it was only a whisper of a kiss, a tease.

She could feel his frustration, feel it mix with her anticipation and for reasons that completely were out of her control, she stopped denying it, stopped denying him. Of course, she said nothing, couldn't find the words to explain to him as to why she was trying to keep them at a distance. That little problem she would deal with later.

Instead, Blair finally let herself look up into his brown eyes and remained quiet for the world to end around them.

Chuck saw Blair look at him and decided, _Screw the consequences_, he didn't think about anything but her as he leaned in, kissing her. The electricity, once again, sparked, and this time he just gave into it.

Now this was how it was supposed to be like.

Blair felt herself relax into Chuck, falling deeper and deeper into his embrace as she intensified the kiss. At that moment she couldn't understand why she had denied herself this - this feeling of being absolutely home. It was absurd to think that she was willing to give it all up. Nate would forever be out of the question after this, no matter what happened.

Of course, that was her thought until Chuck's hands skimmed over her stomach and she pulled away in shock.

Chuck was confused at Blair's response, and felt her pull away; he didn't want it to end. He couldn't speak; he had to catch his breath because as cheesy as it sounded, Blair took his breath away. Finally he was composed enough to ask: "What is it?" The question sounded suspiciously like concern, but he ignored that; he just wanted to know why she pulled away.

"Nothing, nothing."

She could hear the lies in her voice; hear her lying to Chuck about his child. But she had to hold out a little longer - just a few days and it would all be over and they could go back to normal.

"It's nothing really," Blair gave her best impression of a smile but knew it was lacking in power.

Truth was, when his hands had skimmed her stomach she had felt more alive than she ever had. Thinking that it was their -

No, she couldn't think of it. It was impersonal. It was from hell.

It was theirs and she was going to kill it.

Chuck knew it was not "nothing" and something went off – the light bulb flashed on. He remembered the conversation he had with Claire; he still thought, previously to this moment, that Claire was bullshitting him but now...

"It's true isn't it?" he couldn't make himself say _'__you're pregnant.'_

Blair shut her eyes, trying to block out Chuck's face as he figured it out. She should have known. She should have known that Claire had told him.

"Can't believe that little slut..." she stopped mid sentence, realizing that with just that one part, she had already confirmed his suspicions.

Oh shit.

Chuck knew it was true then. He was in shock and pulled away, "So, you're really..." he couldn't even finish a coherent sentence. So, Claire was telling the truth. "Holy shit."

Suddenly, Blair was scared. This was why she wanted to abort the child - so she wouldn't have to see this reaction. Even as he sat down, she made no movement toward him, crossing her arms over her stomach self consciously.

"Please Chuck -" she didn't know what she was asking for, but she knew it has something to do with him saying anything other than 'oh shit.'

She was scared, more scared than she'd ever been.

Chuck was scared too. He hated that feeling, the feeling that nothing was going right; that he wasn't in control, it scared the shit out of him. He couldn't just sit there. "Is it mine?" he had to hear the confirmation from her, even though Claire swore up and down it was. Up until then, he was in denial, but now it was staring at him, taunting him; Blair was pregnant.

That one sentence was enough to make her want to cry. But Blair had to be strong - had to show him that she could be strong. But when it came time to answer him, she found no words. Instead, she merely nodded. This so wasn't what she was planning.

Chuck knew for sure it was his. The baby was his. He had to take a second to breath, to take it all in.

"Ok, so what, you planned on getting an abortion without telling me?" he asked. He might be a jackass at times and self-centered, but whether he liked it or not, the baby was his.

She knew this would come.

"Yes," she said, finding her voice even if it lacked any strength. "I was going to get it the day after tomorrow actually. You don't have to worry about anything Chuck - it's all sorted out: payment, making sure nobody knows our real names. Nothing to be worried about."

Of course she knew full well that the answer would not make her feel any better or satisfy him. But at that moment it had been the only thing she could think of.

Chuck was silent. He had a million thoughts running through his head; how was he supposed to reply to that? He knew he didn't want a kid. Knowing his track record, Chuck would probably screw it up, but he couldn't just do nothing.

Chuck finally found his voice, "I'm going with you." Even he was surprised by what he said. This wasn't like him, but he wasn't sitting back and doing nothing; that's not what a Bass did.

Even though the words made her soar, she shook her head and looked down in defeat. It wasn't that she didn't want him there - it was the fact that having him know, and him being there, would ultimately be something that would somehow end up forcing her to re-evaluate her choice. And though she had wanted to keep the baby right from the start, she wasn't living the fairytale.

"No, I'd rather you not," she stated firmly.

Chuck fell quiet. He didn't want to admit it, but it hurt him that Blair wouldn't let him in. He needed to find the right words to say, but at the moment, he had nothing. Why couldn't he think of anything?

Finally Chuck found his voice. "What? So I have no say in this?"

She sighed as she sat next to him, wanting to take his hand and yet not being able to work up the courage. "No Chuck - it's not that."

Blair didn't know what else to say. Instead, she slowly reached for his hand and moved it to her stomach, placing it on the nearly non-existent bump. She didn't look at his face, choosing to stare at their intertwined hands on her stomach, as she spoke.

"Do you feel that Chuck? Underneath that there's our child growing. Ours - mine and yours. At the appointment they're going to take scans, hear if the baby is okay before they start. Don't you understand Chuck - can't you see how much it's hurting me already to know I'm killing our child? I don't want you to feel that hurt Chuck. I'd rather go through it all alone than have you feel that hurt I'm feeling."

Chuck was quiet. There was a baby inside her, it was true; he couldn't deny it anymore and so many emotions were cursing inside of him; ones he couldn't even identify.

"Then why do it if it hurts you so much?" It was like this wasn't him talking, like he was watching from elsewhere and watching someone portray him and Blair.

"Because how could we make it work Chuck? Me and you and a baby? If I had any glimmer of hope, I would change my mind in a heart beat."

She paused; of course she was telling him the truth. The only reason why she had considered the abortion was because of the fact that she was uncertain about their relationship, about them being able to handle it.

Chuck was silent for a moment. He knew they couldn't do it; he definitely wasn't up to this; thanks to daddy dearest. He was still confused at what to do. "True, but you don't have to be alone in this." He didn't even sound like himself.

She was going to say no again - going to deny him of the pain - when the most aching feeling filled her body and she grabbed her stomach painfully. Of course, it had happened before, not so frequently as now but it was normal.

Within seconds she had slid off the bed and ran to the bathroom - emptying the contents of her stomach furiously as tears slid down her cheeks.

Chuck wasn't sure if he should follow her, if she would let him, but he did so anyway. He heard her in the bathroom; he was outside the door but couldn't make himself go in. He was still hesitant, she had been so independent and he felt guilty that she had to bare this on her own

He finally knocked on the door, "You ok in there?"

Blair washed her mouth with water until she was sure she couldn't taste the vomit anymore. Slowly, she let the water wash over her face until she was almost completely wet. Blair had never been more scared in her life.

The pains were getting worse and the morning sickness even worse. And she wouldn't let anyone see her be so heartbroken.

She wouldn't let anyone see her already mourn the loss of her child.

For now though, as hard as she tried to defend her decision, she knew that it would change her forever.

"I'm fine," she lied, watching the girl in the mirror give her a disgusted look.

Chuck was worried and that was saying a lot. The Chuck Bass everyone knew didn't get worried, but he wasn't that Chuck right now, he didn't know how long he could still be that Chuck.

"Now you're lying to me," he stated. He had always been able to spot her lies, and right now was no different.

Slowly, Blair opened the door to reveal her tear stricken face as she silently cried out, "No, I'm not fine."

A pause followed in which she once again looked everywhere but at him as her hands folded over her stomach protectively. "I can't do this."

Chuck saw her face and immediately took her hand pulling her close to him; he didn't like seeing her like this and he was sure she didn't like showing this side to him - the vulnerable side.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," he said.

The moment Chuck's arms surrounded her, Blair let herself break down and, for the first time since she found out she was pregnant, allowed herself to let all the emotions come out.

She pulled Chuck tightly to her as she sobbed, "I can't do it - I'm sorry. I can't kill it."

Chuck held her, his heart breaking for her; he knew they were connected, he couldn't deny it or party it away.

"Don't. I'm here for you," he whispered into her hair.

His words made her sob even harder. She was now unsure more than ever about what to do. Would they be able to sort something out? For abortion was now out of the question - she had realized that now.

There wasn't that much hate in her to do it - to cut away what was so much part of both of them.

She wanted him to give her all the answers and yet Blair knew it was impossible. But mentally she made a vow that if Chuck decided he couldn't take it - she would go through with having this baby alone.

She would do it, with or without him.

Chuck was quiet. He, of course, was scared. No that wasn't the right word; terrified was more like it, but he was going to be strong for Blair, he had to. She didn't need him falling apart on her.

"Whatever happens, we are in this together." Okay, that sounded too much like a cheesy chick flick, but he had to say it. Because he was in it whether Blair wanted him to be or not.

Blair smiled through her tears as she pushed herself up so she could kiss Chuck. That feeling of being home swept over her once again and she couldn't believe that it had only been a short while back that they had been screaming and cursing.

The tears didn't stop flowing but she knew it would be okay.

She pulled away only a fraction of an inch, "Thank you - thank you so much."

And she wasn't sure why she was thanking him, but she was sure it had something to do with him saving her from herself.

Chuck could only nod quietly as he wiped away her tears. They could do this, maybe if he kept telling himself that, it would be true because he wasn't sure how they were doing it, but they were in this together.

He just held her close, unable to find the right words to say again.

Blair pulled Chuck with her to his bed and with clothes and everything still in tact, she laid down and curled his arm around her, over her stomach.

She needed to be protected - if only for a night.

It didn't take her long to fall asleep - the words "I love you" unspoken on the tip of her tongue.

Chuck lay down beside her, his hand resting her stomach. He watched her drift to sleep. He, too, was exhausted, but he couldn't look away from her sleeping form.

Soon enough, his eyes became heavy and he finally drifted off, still holding her and their baby.


	4. Author's Note

Latest update as to where I am and what will be happening with my stories:

**Latest update as to where I am and what will be happening with my stories:**

**Wow. It's been a while since I replied/wrote any stories. But here's the 411 as to what is going on, so none of you are out of the loop. The sad news for me is that Varsity/College is taking up all my time. Yeah, I don't even have time to check because of it and it sucks but I chose to come and do this. I'm studying a very difficult course and this being my first year in dorms, I'm also tied down to all first year activities. Which means there is no such thing as free time - and when there is, its usually spent studying for the next test. This has also given me some, probably well deserved, forced writers block to keep me from writing anything. Sure, I've tried, but it all comes out crap to me. But, hopefully, I'll be able to get past my forced writers block and write something soon. I'd like you to take a moment and to message me what stories you'd like to see continued - for those I will check out first to see what I can do about it. Otherwise, all stories that have not been updated will go on a permanent hiatus. I give you all a while to decide, comment or send me a message and if you have any ideas - PMs are ALWAYS welcome. Thanks for staying true to my stories!**

**M**


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